confused ;

“Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels better right now.” 

And I just laugh at my own stupidity ... I made a lot of waves around myself and I need to clear them up. The risk is my team, my dream, my family. :(
How on earth could I be that annoying and selfish?  I wanted to be good so hard. Cheerleading is all I have left. My life, my secret place to be hidden. And I just won't be able to do the double base stunt. :( I need to be strong both physically and mentaly. But now, when everything's difficult I should realize I 'm not enough to carry all this tense and preasure on my shoulders. I need my friends to bring me up. 
But I was mean to them and I did overreact the situations at practice, the lack of time has made me made my bad decisions. Or they just don't understand my passion for cheerleading, do they? I really don't know what's comin next. Hope something better.

#StayStrong

xox
Rebecca